Five Months (Let’s play catch up!)

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In honor of K’s 11 month birthday, I bring you his 5th month update!
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In his fifth month, Kostya…

  • Rolled over. I’m not sure what he rolled over or where he rolled over or if there were any circumstances of note beyond the actual movement. Rolling. Over.
  • Experienced his first ice storm. (Not impressed.)
  • Sat in his bumbo chair. Like three times. Anya LOVED her bumbo, so Santa gave K one for Christmas. (In fact, Anya was so excited about the chair that she would pull it out every few days to see if K was ready for it yet.) Santa even got the little table that goes with it. Santa did not give K the teeny thighs that the designers apparently think all babies have.
  • Directed the planting of some fruit trees. (“The apple tree goes over there… No, to the right! The right!”)
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  • Decided he wanted to sleep in the big bed and to wake up every two hours. (I’m not sure “big” is the right word for the bed anymore.)
  • Started out-peeing two diaper inserts at night. We call this a PeePlosion.
  • Demanded bigger bottles. (Perhaps related to the prior statement?)
  • Weighed in at 14 lbs and was 25 inches tall.
  • Dreamed of bananas.
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  • Bewitched all who met him.
  • Asked Mama, “What is this hard, sharp, white bump that appeared in my mouth?”
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  • Had bestowed upon him his first super hero name: Super Snotty Baby with the power of drooling and flying! (Mama is Super Tree Girl, and Anya is Super Fairy Girl with the power to do ANYTHING!)
  • Realized he loves to be read to. Luckily he has a big sister who loves to read to him.
  • Ate Anya’s laundry.
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  • Pulled All The Things off the table. Every table. Neither water glass nor hamburger nor pretty flower arrangement is safe from Super Snotty Baby!.

Meanwhile, Anya changed a diaper (good thing I wrote this down because I have no memory of it and have a hard time believing it), planted some fruit trees, found she loves cursive writing, started learning about fractions, and did math with bunny gummies.
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Carol jumped for joy when the school FINALLY got its 501(c)3 status approved, growled when How I Met Your Mother ended, and hid in fear from the Washing Machine Monster.
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And Andy started juicing. I do not recommend the celery, cucumber, kale concoction.
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So ends the tale of when Kostya was 5 months old. Or at least that’s what my notes say. I remember very little of it. (There was an ice storm!?) It is possible someone cracked my super-secure password and rewrote those notes. Or I could have gotten the months transposed. Or maybe I’m lying and I just copied stuff from Anya’s fifth month post. If I can’t tell, I’m figuring you can’t, either.


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