In honor of K’s 11 month birthday, I bring you his 5th month update!

In his fifth month, Kostya…

• Rolled over. I’m not sure what he rolled over or where he rolled over or if there were any circumstances of note beyond the actual movement. Rolling. Over.
• Experienced his first ice storm. (Not impressed.)
• Sat in his bumbo chair. Like three times. Anya LOVED her bumbo, so Santa gave K one for Christmas. (In fact, Anya was so excited about the chair that she would pull it out every few days to see if K was ready for it yet.) Santa even got the little table that goes with it. Santa did not give K the teeny thighs that the designers apparently think all babies have.
• Directed the planting of some fruit trees. (“The apple tree goes over there… No, to the right! The right!”)



• Decided he wanted to sleep in the big bed and to wake up every two hours. (I’m not sure “big” is the right word for the bed anymore.)
• Started out-peeing two diaper inserts at night. We call this a PeePlosion.
• Demanded bigger bottles. (Perhaps related to the prior statement?)
• Weighed in at 14 lbs and was 25 inches tall.
• Dreamed of bananas.



• Bewitched all who met him.
• Asked Mama, “What is this hard, sharp, white bump that appeared in my mouth?”



• Had bestowed upon him his first super hero name: Super Snotty Baby with the power of drooling and flying! (Mama is Super Tree Girl, and Anya is Super Fairy Girl with the power to do ANYTHING!)
• Realized he loves to be read to. Luckily he has a big sister who loves to read to him.
• Ate Anya’s laundry.



• Pulled All The Things off the table. Every table. Neither water glass nor hamburger nor pretty flower arrangement is safe from Super Snotty Baby!.

Meanwhile, Anya changed a diaper (good thing I wrote this down because I have no memory of it and have a hard time believing it), planted some fruit trees, found she loves cursive writing, started learning about fractions, and did math with bunny gummies.

Carol jumped for joy when the school FINALLY got its 501(c)3 status approved, growled when How I Met Your Mother ended, and hid in fear from the Washing Machine Monster.

And Andy started juicing. I do not recommend the celery, cucumber, kale concoction.

So ends the tale of when Kostya was 5 months old. Or at least that’s what my notes say. I remember very little of it. (There was an ice storm!?) It is possible someone cracked my super-secure password and rewrote those notes. Or I could have gotten the months transposed. Or maybe I’m lying and I just copied stuff from Anya’s fifth month post. If I can’t tell, I’m figuring you can’t, either.