My office is infested with fungus gnats. A coworker just inhaled one up her nose. My desk is littered with their teeny corpses. At least they are slow and fairly easy to kill. They also have no shame or decency and are having sex on my plant right before my very eyes. I already quarantined one plant, but they just moved to another one. DARN THEM. What are they doing?!? My plants aren’t fungusy!

(As a MG intern, I should know all about this and how to stop it, shouldn’t I? No, no. I’m learning that being a MG (intern or full) doesn’t really necessarily mean you know anything about plants and gardening, but everyone expects you to. I want to tell them, “Dude! I listened to people talk about trees and looked at pictures of pretty flowers for a bunch of hours! Yes, I can tell you the parts of a plant, but I do not know what that strange thing growing in your backyard is!” Someday I’ll talk about MG and what it is and stuff, but not now. Now I will go back to the gnat massacre.)