Good: Things are afoot with my work stuff. I can’t say anything right now because I’m not sure what’s really going to happen, but hopefully things will be improving soon.

Bad: The truck is sick and needs a bunch of work done.

Undecided: Should we dump our cable tv?

Good: We’ll be getting a large tax return soon.

Bad: We’ll be spending a large portion of it to fix the truck.

Undecided: Have we adjusted our withholdings properly, so we don’t loan the government so much money this year?

Good: There is cookie dough in the fridge at home.

Bad: All the cookie sheets are dirty.

Undecided: If I make cookies on the cookie sheet that garlic bread was made on last night, will the cookies be garlicky?

There’s a lady in my Master Gardener (MG) class who reminds me far too much of Evil Coworker (EC) from my last job. EC pretty much made my last job a living Hell, so you can probably imagine that seeing her twin (ECT) show up at MG training was unsettling. ECT has the same build, facial features, haircut, glasses, little string that holds the glasses on, and way of moving as EC. That would be bad enough, but ECT also has the exact same air of superiority that made me want to strangle EC.

I’m trying to tell myself, whenever the urge to strangle ECT arises, that I don’t know this new lady. She’s quite possibly very nice. It’s not her fault she so closely resembles EC that I am tempted to approach her and ask her if she has any relatives in Michigan. This internal conversation isn’t working too well so far. No, I haven’t tried to wrap my hands around her throat, but I cringe each and every time I see her or hear her speak. Maybe I can convince her to dye her hair hot pink or to slouch a little bit in her chair instead of perching on the edge of it as though each and every vertebrae in her body was fused together?

One of the first times I met Andy’s family, we played Scrabble. I used the word “orbicular.” One of my not-yet-as-of-then-in-laws challenged this word, looked it up in the dictionary, and made me take back my wonderful word when it wasn’t in the book. For ten years now I have kept that word as my own. Every now and then I would say it just to hear its wonderful sound: orbicular! But I still carried the shame of trying to scrabble a word that did not exist.

Today I am vindicated. In Chapter 1 of my Master Gardener text, I came across that word again. Orbicular, my friends, is one of many leaf blade shapes. When I read that word, I let out a yelp of joy and rolled my chair over to my keyboard to do a dictionary search. Sure enough, orbicular is all over the online dictionaries. What sort of dictionary were Andy’s parents using, anyhow?

I want a recount on that Scrabble match.

We were at the mall today trying to find some new sheets to buy with a gift card we got at Christmas. (Apparently the store only carries lame sheets; you have to order the cool sheets from the catalog.) Right inside the door I saw a fabulous shimmer. It drew me to it. It was purple. And glittery.

Normally I would never buy such wonderfulness, but they were 70% off. I got these bits of baby bling for only $4.79. I hope Kim is proud.

Dear Santa,

Hey, I’m not one to complain (okay, who are we kidding…I am most definitely one to complain…but not usually to you), but what’s the deal? I thought you were supposed to bring us presents not break things. So, how come our television died on Christmas day? Your day? I’d like to believe it’s a coincidence, but I’m having a hard time with that.

Is this like the not getting me that dog/llama/donkey thing where you think you know better? Did you get all cocky because that one worked out so well? Yes, I know we watch way too much tv. Yes, we have lots of other things we should be doing. And, yes, Anya really shouldn’t be exposed to tv much at all. But come on! You KILLED OUR TV on CHRISTMAS! Right in the middle of a sappy Christmas movie I had NOT seen! Worse of all, Kenny is arriving today for about a week and while I will not miss watching day after day of The Twilight Zone, I fear for all of us crammed into that tiny house in the middle of nowhere with no tv.

Did you really think this one through?

=Carol=

When your husband’s Christmas bonus from work is used to buy new tires for your truck, and you are both pretty happy about it…you know you are old.

Dear Santa,

I’m sorry it’s been so long since I last wrote to you. I’m not real good at writing, and…well…I figure you’ve probably been busy. I wanted to thank you an extremely ginormous amount for finding someone to buy our MI house. That was probably one of the best presents you’ve ever given me…right up there with the Black Beauty set from Breyer. Thank you, also, for not getting me that llama/donkey/puppy I asked for last year; you are so wise and knew I wouldn’t want another critter to take care of this year. Way to go, Santa!

So, now to the matter at hand. This year’s list. Santa, I know I haven’t been all that good this year, but I have been rather sleep deprived and that really can make a person grumpy, you know? I’m sure after staying up all night on Christmas Eve you have to get lots of rest so you don’t lose your jollyness. You understand, right? Phew. Good to hear.

Without further ado, Santa, here is my wish list:

+ 100%-effective-yet-affordable-way to keep ticks at least 100 yards away from me, my house, my pets, and my family.
+ A dryer that doesn’t sound like it’s torturing the clothes. (The screams of the diapers are the worst.)
+ A bedroom. With a door. (I know this one is in progress, but maybe you can help make sure it gets finished?)
+ $73,000.
+ Affordable medical insurance through someplace other than my work.
+ A message from Dana and Tracy — two really good friends I’ve lost track of but may have recently refound.
+ New slip-on-clog-type shoes that are comfortable and don’t make squeaky or suction-cuppy sounds when I walk.
+ Career satisfaction — whatever my career is.
+ To be happy more days than I’m not.
+ Happiness for my family and friends.

Thank you, Santa, for taking the time to listen to me. I promise I will try to write to you more in 2008. At least a quick note for Christmas in July. Please give my best wishes to Mrs. Claus, the elves, and the reindeer. I hope being magic creatures, your reindeer don’t eat hay since there has been such a shortage of it this year. I bet they only eat things like oats, pizza, and ribbon.

Take care and have a safe trip Monday night!

=Cabol=

Andy and I have a stomach plague courtesy of new daycare place. It seems to take about 24 hours to mostly run its course, and Andy is about ten hours behind me. He should be better in the morning. I hope our septic tank is tough because it’s had a lot to handle since yesterday evening. My helpful tip to anyone else with this dread disease – rice. Rice is wonderful. The banana and the toast made me sick…but oh blessed rice!

The nice thing about us both being sick at the same time is that…um. There is nothing nice about it really. The sheep and chickens didn’t get fed or watered until about 2 because I stupidly ate some frosted flakes to go with my ibuprofen to help fight off the killer dehydration headache. I spent several hours really wishing I hadn’t listened to Tony the Tiger’s call. And then there is the baby. At times Andy and I both felt really horrible at the same time and the best we could do for Anya was to poke the bouncy seat with a foot. At one point, Andy tossed toys to her like she was a carnival game. I wonder what prize he won for getting both butterflies and the snail into her lap without missing?

Andy finally passed out on the couch a bit ago, and I’m waiting for the dishwasher to finish running before I try to go to sleep. I’m really not tired…probably because of the soda I kept drinking to fight off the hurlies.

I think new daycare person should give us a free week. I’ve missed three days of work because of this plague (one day when her kid was sick, one day when Anya was sick [thankfully nowhere near as sick as we’ve been], and one day when I was sick), and Andy has missed one. The hidden costs of daycare.

I like books, and I like Sabina, so I’m answering her call to share my answers to some book-related questions.

1. One book that changed your life.

The DMV manual.

2. One book you have read more than once.

I have quite a few books that I like to read again every few years. The Harry Potter books I re-read each time a new one came out. I also like to re-read Anne McCaffrey’s dragon books, Melanie Rawn’s sun runner books, and the Tightwad Gazette trio. Oh, and the newest multiple read book: Goodnight Moon (Goodnight, bowl of mush!)

3. One book you would want on a desert island.

Am I stranded on this desert island or merely visiting?

4. One book that made you laugh.

The Stephanie Plum books by Janet Evanovich. Fluff, but funny fluff.

5. One book that made you cry.

Anything I read when I was pregnant.

7. One book you wish had never been written.

When I first moved to Michigan, I arranged all my books in alphabetical order and decided I would read them all one by one down the rows. I had a bunch of really old sci fi books I got from a neighbor who was moving and getting rid of them years ago. One of the first books on my shelf was from this batch. I don’t remember the name of the book or the author, but it was a really bad book. I only read it because of my silly idea about reading every single book I had. It was a story about this guy who lived in a garage or shed behind someone’s house, and he thought he was being watched. That’s pretty much the whole story. I abandoned my great alphabet plan after a few books and ended up giving most (or possibly all) of the neighbor’s old sci fi to the library.

8. One book you are currently reading.

The Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. I insisted my parents get me this book, The Count of Monte Cristo, and There’s a Hair in My Dirt: A Worm’s Story for Christmas when I was in college. Can you guess which of the three was the only one I read? Well, after I finished Harry Potter, I didn’t know what to read during lunch at work. We haven’t been to the library for ages, so I went to my bookshelves. I figured it was about time I read The Invisible Man. I hated it the first 100 pages or so, but since I kept forgetting to put a new book in my bag, I kept reading. I’m about 100 pages to the end now, and I really want to know what is going to happen.

9. One book you have been meaning to read.

The Count of Monte Cristo? Haha.

I miss the AA library. (sigh) The libraries here are so pathetic in comparison.

I bought a box of crayons today. One hundred and twenty different colors. ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY. Wow. One hundred and twenty DIFFERENT colors.

We were at Walmart today, and while Andy hunted down cat food, I meandered into the back-to-school section. Crayons. The smell of them is pretty much as good as it can get. Ranks right up there with new text books, clean baby, and cinnabuns. I stared at the boxes and boxes of crayons and remembered, as I always remember when looking at new crayons, how cool it was in elementary school to get a new box at the start of the year. Back then getting a box of 48 was pretty much the cat’s meow. A box of 64…well, I don’t think I got a box of 64 more than a few times. When I saw that box of 120 crayons (each a different color, I checked), I gave a little yelp of glee.

And I knew I had to have them.

One cool thing about being a grown up is that if you want a $7 box of crayons, you can buy them. I bought them.

120.

What good are crayons, though, without coloring books? I don’t understand why the coloring books are not in the same place as the crayons. At the grocery store, there is often a banana display rack in the cereal aisle. At the hardware store, the paint brushes are always near the paint. Coloring books, though, are in the toy section while the crayons are far far away in school supplies.

I’m picky about coloring books. I don’t like those pesky mixed books…with coloring pictures and silly activities. I don’t like to be distracted by goofy crosswords or lame-o connect-the-dots. I just want pictures. I also prefer simple pictures with heavy black lines. Some coloring books have pictures with such high level of detail, the crayons don’t fit between the lines. Maybe those are good for colored pencils or even skinny markers, but for crayons? Nope. I’m also not real keen on books about cartoon characters like Dora or Cinderella. Even with this stringent criteria, I managed to find half a dozen books (strangely, three were about cats). With Andy’s help, I narrowed the stack down to three: baby animals and two of the cat books.

When we got home, I took out my crayons…peeled off the plastic…and took in all the glory of those wonderful colors. Only one problem. The (120) crayons were stuck in the boxes (two 48 boxes and one 24) all random! How can you know which green you really want when the greens are spread out over three boxes? How do you know the purple you picked is THE purple you need?

I dumped all the crayons out on the floor and spent the next hour putting them in order.

I found out why the crayon people put the crayons in randomly. It’s tough putting them in order. Does this green-blue crayon go with greens or blues? Should I put all the fruit-named crayons together? Must Caribbean Sea go next to Pacific Blue? Where does white go? It sticks out no matter where it is. Do the colors of the paper wrappers mean something? Should all the crayons with the same color wrappers go together? But if so, why does a crayon that is surely a yellow have the same color wrapper as a crayon that is surely a red?

I broke the crayons down into six groups: reds, blues, greens, yellows, purples, and earthy colors. The earthy colors managed to fig quite nicely in the 24 box. I spent quite a while trying to figure out how to box up the others…I could put the blues, greens, and yellows in one box but was left four short. If I put the reds, blues, and yellows together I had one too many. Should I break the blues between boxes? If so, which few blues were most un-blue? Andy kept looking at me funny this entire time…asking me if I sorted my legos when I was a kid. (No, I didn’t. I remember being more concerned about the number of bumps on the lego blocks than the color (2, 4, 8?). After all, color isn’t quite as important when you are building as size and shape of the block.) After I got things broken into boxes, the arranging went fairly quickly. Some crayons really didn’t fit the progression from light to dark I was working for in each color group, but I just stuck them in where they seemed to go best.

Now they are all tucked in happily. All one hundred and twenty colors. Time to color.

I started writing this about a week ago but didn’t finish it. I’ve since found out another reason the crayon people didn’t bother to organize the crayons. Once you get them where you want them, it’s tough to keep them that way. When you take one crayon out, the others wiggle around to fill in the gap and things get all wonky.