Author Archives: Cabol

Jun 28 2007

CTALITMON #1

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Cool Thing About Living in the Middle of Nowhere #1:

If you put the clothes you are wearing into the washing machine because you plan to go right up and take a shower but when you go check the baby one last time she’s awake and you don’t want to take a shower while she’s awake and alone and then you remember you need to turn the water off outside but you are all dirty and don’t want to put on clean clothes just to run outside, you can just put on your shoes and go outside and turn the water off without any clothes on at all.

Jun 23 2007

Freak Show

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Baby bodies are very weird.

There’s the eye thing. Did you know when babies are born their pupils don’t dilate? And their eyes roam all over the place? I’m glad I knew the latter beforehand because otherwise I would have been calling the priest that first day for an exorcisim.

And then there’s the head thing. That weird squishy spot they have and the freaky ridges and bumps. Part of the head weirdness, I guess, is because babies are generally in some state of bald, and most of us aren’t used to spending a lot of time looking at bald heads.

Their mouths are freaky, too. The lack of teeth, though expected, is a bit startling. Especially as it adds to the cavernous appearance of their mouths. Baby mouths are huge. I think you could fit all the rest of the baby’s head in its own mouth.

Inside the mouth is something even more disturbing. The baby tongue. I was always impressed by people who could curl their tongues, but babies have those people beat hands down. Baby tongues undulate. It’s like looking at a tiny, pink stingray in motion.

As weird as these things are, they are all fairly typical (or so I’m told) for a baby. I’m curious, though, how many other babies have a collapsable ear. Anya has one. With a slight bit of pressure, the ear folds neatly in half. Sometimes if she’s been on her side or squished up against something for a while, the ear even stays folded when the pressure is removed. It’s like there’s velcro on there. It would be a neat trick if she could control it…she’d sure show those people bragging about being able to merely wiggle an ear. “Oh you can wiggle your ear, huh? Well, look at this!!”

Jun 21 2007

Sumo Baby

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There are a few big issues in the parenting world that can really get people going: circumcision, vaccinations, breast vs. formula feeding, co-sleeping, and cloth diapers are the ones that come to mind right now. We didn’t have to worry about the first because we have a girl, and we don’t have much choice with the second because daycare requires it. What about the rest? We’ve been co-sleeping since Anya was born, due to supply issues in the beginning she’s a mixed breast/formula fed baby, and finally we have started using cloth diapers.

We wanted to do cloth diapers all along because it creates less waste and is cheaper. Navigating the cloth diaper world reminds me a lot of the first time I logged onto a MOO over ten years ago. Way too many choices, lots of foreign terminology, and tons of people with way too many opinions about how to do things. Seriously, there are at least half a dozen diaper types and probably hundreds of different diaper brands. There are newsgroups and journal communities and blogs devoted to the discussion of cloth diapers. I’m sort of reminded of the beanie baby craze when some of these people talk about getting the latest fuzzybunny AIO with that cute iguana pattern. I just wanted diapers.

I did some research and found what looked good to me. A one-size-fits-all diaper that looked and acted a lot like a disposable, had really great reviews, and came in a starter pack so I didn’t have to worry about what to buy. One problem…this starter pack cost over $400. So, I waited to see if maybe someone would buy them for us, and time ticked by. I really was not looking forward to plunking down that money, so when Andy found someone selling a set of diapers, covers, and inserts online for only $180 we jumped on it. These diapers are a different type than what I had wanted, but I did some quick research before we got them and the reviews were decent.

I knew that the one-size-fits-all would probably not fit baby when she first came home, and so we started things out using disposables. After about two or three weeks, I tried one of the cloth diapers on Anya and it was way too big. Monday I pulled them out again. They are still big on her, but they aren’t falling off. However, they are incredibly massive.

The diapers sort of swallow Anya. When she’s lying down, her knees have to bend for her feet to touch the ground. Her center of gravity has changed from her massive baby head to her huge diaper butt. I can’t get most of her clothes to fit over the diaper, and if I can she takes on the shape of a bowling pin. She’s a cartoon character. A sumo baby.

As she gets bigger, the diapers will (hopefully) fit better. In the meantime, we just sort of laugh at her and are glad that at this age she can’t tell the difference between “laughing with you” and “laughing at you.” (And we use disposables when we go out, so we can get her clothes on.)

Jun 18 2007

Sheep Tales

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Sheep Tale I

One day about two weeks ago I heard some unusual sounds from the sheep. A baby sheep kept calling and calling and a mommy sheep kept calling back. The sheep do talk during the day, but this was much more frequent and sort of sad. I looked outside and saw Pumpernickel’s baby sitting next to the fence. On the wrong side.

I ran outside and chased her down and she tried to run through the fence and got snagged up a bit and I caught her and pitched her over the fence and then turned the charger on because Andy had forgotten to turn it on after feeding them that morning.

This was when we learned:

1. Baby sheep are not scared of the fence and will test it to see if it is on
2. Baby sheep can somehow squeeze through the fence and/or crawl under it

Sheep Tale II

We finally hooked up with the shearer and got the adult sheep sheared. We’re about a month or two late, and it’s been hot, so you’d think the sheep would have been excited about it. However, sheep are sort of stupid…or maybe they are incredibly smart. Not sure.

The shearer was scheduled to come out at noon (why the hottest part of the day??), so Andy and I went out at around 11 to try and get the sheep herded into a smaller, more manageable area. Of course the sheep don’t like to be managed and escaped the fence and we had to run around waving our arms to finally get them all contained. By that time we were pretty tired, but, alas, that was the easiest part of the day I think.

When the shearer arrived, Andy and I tried to put a harness onto one of the sheep to lead her out for her haircut. We’d bought the harness back during lambing time and it specifically said it was for sheep. I guess it was for bigger sheep because it wouldn’t stay on Sadie’s head. The shearer took pity on us and came over with an actually useful harness and snagged Pearl. He led her out of the “pen” (smallish area fenced in with the portable electric fencing we use) and tied her up to a post in our porch area. He then went back for Sadie, who wanted nothing of it. While the shearer was dragging Sadie to the shearing area, Pumpernickel’s baby flung herself at the fence and pushed her way through somehow and got away. While we were trying to get the baby back in the fence, Pumpernickel also escaped. At around this point Anya (who was on the upper level of the porch) started crying, so I had to abandon ship.

Eventually Andy got Pumpernickel and her baby into the new “pasture” where we planned to put the sheep after shearing. Not ideal but she was at least contained. Then, Andy decided to try and give the baby sheep their shots. This was when utter chaos broke out. Baby sheep do not like to be caught. Baby sheep don’t care about pesky fences. Baby sheep stampeded, and baby sheep were everywhere.

At this point I am sure the shearer was having a very hard time containing his laughter at these silly city folk trying to be shepherds. Luckily he was too busy shearing to pay too much attention.

Andy finally got the babies in the new field with Pumpernickel and her baby. I believe grain was involved. Things went fairly okay after that, and finally everyone was sheared. The shearer got a good tip.

This was when we learned:

1. Baby sheep are more scared of shots than of going through an electrified fence
2. Grain is a powerful sheep lure

Sheep Tale III

Last Thursday night was sort of chilly, so we closed most of the windows. Andy was back in the office doing something, and I was (as usual) distracted by trying to amuse Anya. Around 10 or 11, I started noticing that the sheep seemed a bit noisy. They don’t usually make much noise at night, so it seemed a bit odd. I opened the back door and took a peek out, but (duh) it was dark so I didn’t see anything. The baaing didn’t seem too weird, so I went back to my discussion of quantum physics with Anya. But I kept hearing them. And then I finally realized they were so noisy I was hearing them through the closed windows.

About this point Andy emerged and I was hunting for the flashlight and I told him what was going on. Did I mention not only was it dark out but it was foggy? I took the flashlight onto the back porch and started shining it around. Good thing sheep eyes get all reflectivey like cats eyes, or I may not have seen Pearl meandering around the yard outside the fence.

Crap.

We threw on shoes and ran outside and found that the battery on the fence charger was dead because it had been cloudy and foggy and the solar panels couldn’t make any juice. Only Pumpernickel and the white ram lambs were still where they should be. Everyone else was galavanting about having a merry old time. Well, I take that back. The two lambs were not quite where they should be; they were tangled up in the fence. One of them was very, very tangled, and I was worried we were going to have to cut the fence to get him out. Luckily we managed somehow to free him and get him back on the right side of the fence. The other lamb that was caught wasn’t tangled so much and we quickly got him freed and back in. Unfortunately, by this time the escapees had disappeared.

Our property is lined on both sides by a barbed wire fence and pine trees or shrubs. The escaped sheep had somehow made their way through the shrubs and past the fence into the neighbor’s field. We couldn’t see them, but we could hear them. They did not seem at all interested in coming back even though the ram lambs and Pumpernickel were calling for their mom/baby.

About this time I had to go take care of Anya and couldn’t help anymore. Luckily, Andy remembered the power of grain and ran off to the barn to get some. When the escaped sheep heard the grain jingling in the grain can, they came running. It was still a bit of a feat to get them back inside the fence, but it did happen.

This was when we learned:

1. The importance of making sure the battery on the fence is charged
2. Adult sheep will jump over a fence when a baby sheep has pulled it down by getting tangled in it

Jun 7 2007

One month down, 215 to go

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Yesterday Anya turned a month old. Every month for the first year or so, I’m gonna try and take a photo of her in the same place to see how she grows. So, here’s the first one.

I’ve read lots of journals of parents where they post milestones their kids have hit during the last month or whatnot, so here’s Anya’s list of achievements for these first four weeks:

+ does a great imitation of Wallace when he’s just found some tasty cheese
+ speaks perfect squirrel
+ won a local farting competition
+ explored her inner toad
+ practiced camoflage techniques (as shown below)

May 31 2007

Projects (I haven’t been doing)

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While I spend my days as a piece of furniture for the baby to sleep upon, Andy has been keeping very busy with tons of projects around here: building sheep shelters, repotting basil plants, planting beans in the garden, trying to keep the fences moved to keep the sheep on grass.

To top it off, he got a bee in his bonnet (not really, that’s my hat he keeps wearing, not his) and started painting the workshop. He wanted to paint the house to remove from it the nasty poop color the previous owners thought would be lovely, but the house doesn’t need to be painted. The workshop…it probably hasn’t had a new coat of paint since it was built ten years or so ago. In some places, it doesn’t look like the workshop was ever painted. Maybe it wasn’t. To be technical, Andy hasn’t really been painting. He’s been primer-ing.

We haven’t decided on an actual paint color yet. Andy’s suggestion, “Whatever color we can find a 5-gallon bucket of in the OOPS section at the store?” I’m thinking stripes myself. When we do paint the house, I want big polka dots. You can’t have a polka dot house in the city.

Another painting project in the works involves some clearance bin spray paint called “sour apple.” Last weekend we went to this out-of-business donut store/daycare center and bought some old lockers. (There’s a story about the trip that maybe someday I’ll write out.) For some reason, we’ve been lusting after old lockers for a while. Here’s one of the locker thingies.

You can see the other locker thingy in the back of the truck next to some logs we also got at the donut store/daycare center. The place was in a log cabiny-type structure, and it appears to retrofit the structure for the donut kitchen, the owners had to cut down/out some of the beams. They will make a nice raised bed or small retaining-wall-type terrace thing or something.

The plan is to spray paint the lockers a happy color (I guess “sour apple” is happy) and put at least one of them in the kitchen next to the coat rack to use to hold shoes and bags and lanterns and sheep vitamins. With the happy little doors, Buddy will not be able to pee upon the shoes and bags and lanterns and sheep vitamins, and our lives will be just a wee bit less smelly.

At the donut store / daycare center, we also picked up a bunch of legos, a bunch of wooden blocks, two neato stained glass-ish hanging lights, half a box of nails, and an aluminum cake pan.

(Side Note: Yesterday, Sydney said, “Baaaaaatman.” Maybe Andy is Sydney’s superhero.)

May 24 2007

Listen to the Voices

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I’ve been hearing voices in strange places lately. Last week, I distinctly heard Sydney (the ram) bellow out, “Baaaaaaaaaaaandrew!” I’m not sure what Andy did, but it must not have been good to have been called by his full name.

The other sheep haven’t been speaking…at least not in English. I’m guessing they speak in Icelandic, but I can’t really say. On Sunday, Andy and my dad moved the sheep to a big pasturey area (aka part of our front yard). Andy built cool sheepy shelters so the sheep can stay out of the elements. There’s only one in this field right now ’cause the sheep have trees to shelter under, too, but there will be more than one. Just so ya know.

Back to the voices, my boobie pump talks to me. I’ve been dealing with “supply issues,” and so I’ve been pumping to help keep things flowing. The pump says lots of things, and I have lots of time to listen to it. My favorite phrase is, “Donna Reed don’t you leave NRA.” Sometimes, the pump is conflicted and one moment says merely, “Run away!” and then “Don’t you leave.” (not necessarily to Donna Reed). It also seems to know where it came from as it frequently talks about Roanoke.

You can see the talkative pump in the upper right of this photo. This is my view from Baby Feeding Central. In addition to the pump, you can see my friend the clock (who does not speak). Also the trash can into which I toss things like kleenex (which I use plenty of now that I had to stop taking my allergy medicine) and Hardee’s bags.

I toss in this last picture because I think it’s silly. Yesterday (or the day before…or maybe it was last week…who knows) I took Aniela in the sling down to the garden to do some weeding. I also lugged down her bouncy chair and made a little roof with the sling to keep the sun off. Don’t worry. I covered up her feet.